There are wise saying within the Recovery Community that many learn to incorporate into their daily lives. A popular one being, “Hurt People, hurt people.” This saying is a popular saying that both addicts and family members alike can use. The saying is a powerful reminder that “healthy people don’t hurt people.” It’s “hurt people who hurt people.”
Both client and family alike know that most people are capable of being good and honest. But, people who are hurt are incapable of being good and honest and instead they hurt others by lying, cheating and stealing. This saying sheds some light on the matter. Often times when we are hurt by someone we get angry, upset and judgmental. We know they are capable of being better people and we know they know it too, so why is it so difficult for them to do the right thing? Why do these people repeatedly hurt us time and time again even after we tell them how badly it hurts us?
There are as many reasons why people hurt others as there are the number people on this earth. This writer believes that a good portion of the pain we inflict on others comes from wounds we haven’t yet healed ourselves. In fact we have wounds that are so large, that they infect others who surround us.
Try and imagine stopping to help someone in a car accident on the freeway. The first thing to do would be to help the people inside, but they could be bleeding and have wounds you can’t mend on your own. The car maybe crushed, but you can’t pull it apart on your own. There maybe people in the back seat who also need your help just getting out of the car, nevertheless their injuries may be beyond your capability of handling. The more you try to help these “hurt people” the more likely you are to get blood on yourself, be hit by another car on the freeway or injure yourself while trying to help them. The people in this car probably don’t want to hurt anyone, the fact that they are in an accident, is simply an accident itself. But, they can’t help the fact that they are helpless and you are not. You though, can help and can call the fire department, paramedics and police.
This scenario is very similar to rehab. Families who try and help their loved ones in their addictions often times put themselves in harms way and could quite possibly make the scenario much worse. The thing families need to do, just like an accident witness would be to call the proper authorities. When it comes to addiction, that authority might be an interventionist or a rehab.
People in a traffic accident don’t intend to hurt anyone, just like an addict doesn’t intend to hurt anyone. The fact of the matter is that they can’t control themselves. But, we can help them. We can help the hurt stop by calling the right people, the right rehab and doing the right thing. Hurt people, do hurt people. Healthy people, help people. If you are healthy and know someone who is not, help them to help themselves and make the hurt stop.